How to Make Divorce Easier

Attorney Chaim Steinberger | 888-981-0039 | Schedule A Consult Today

Parties going through a separation try to find out how to make divorce easier. Tempers flare, accusations fly, and conflicts arise. However, as skilled divorce attorneys know, there are methods to diffuse tension and get parties to arrive at an amicable solution. It just takes a little finesse. Chaim Steinberger is a family law attorney with Chaim Steinberger, P.C, based in New York. In this interview, he explains how respect, acknowledgment, and direct communication can convince both parties to make decisions that benefit everyone. To learn more, contact attorney Steinberger directly by calling 888-981-0039 or by submitting a contact form on this page.

Is it possible to have a divorce without any conflicts?

People going through a divorce may not be able to conceive of it, especially if they are in the midst of a contentious divorce, but it is possible. If the couple keeps doing what they’ve been doing, they’ll keep getting what they’ve been getting. Fortunately, there is a better way.

How is “game theory” useful in divorce proceedings?

Game theory is the study of motivating people to perform in certain ways. It was used during the Cuban missile crisis. In both divorce and military strategy, the goal of game theory is to avoid giving the other side a reason to keep fighting. When both people are working together collaboratively, it creates a better atmosphere compared to when they are fighting against each other. The goal is to create a win-win situation, which requires sensitivity and nuance. For example, if one party says that getting the house is really important to them, further inquiry might reveal that it’s not so much the house that’s important, but staying in that school district or being close to relatives. Drilling down closer to both party’s goals can bring them closer to a resolution. Look beyond the stated positions to the deeper interests.

Do these techniques only apply to mediation, or can they work in a contested divorce as well?

These techniques can even apply in cases where the divorcing spouses come in like warring parties. It involves listening to both parties, adopting a strategy, and making each side feel like they’ve won what’s most important to them.

Do both spouses (and their attorneys) need to sign on to “divorce without destruction” for it to work?

Not necessarily. You don’t need to rely on the other side’s goodwill. Rather: what can you do to motivate the other side? A mix of compassion and no-nonsense knowledge of the law can help clear up confusion and streamline the process.

What if kids are involved? Does that change things?

It’s a similar process. Treat both sides with respect and dignity. Acknowledge how important both parents are to the children. If seeking financial assistance from the other party, the attorney might emphasize that this parent should want the child to be fully supported and grow up with the best childhood possible. Emphasize fairness, and emphasize dignity.

What do you recommend when the divorcing parties start fighting about the kids?

Studies have shown that the most harmful type of divorce to children is one that is long and drawn out. This is considered worse than a contentious divorce that is over quickly. A tip to divorcing parents: for the sake of your children’s emotional wellbeing, find a way to resolve your divorce as smooth and clean as possible. Stay away from accusatory behavior. Focus on goodwill. Focus on what both parties feel they deserve and find a way to preserve them. If one party deserves something, then it’s only fair that the other party deserves something as well.

What makes divorce so difficult?

People going through a divorce aren’t fighting because they’re bad people. They’re fighting because they’re scared, they’re angry, and they feel hurt. When people are scared, they start acting out-of-character. It’s hard to see things logically when people are controlled by fear. If both parties can understand that a divorce ruling involves compromise, there will be less resentment over the final decision. This can be critical in making everyone happy about child support and child custody arrangements. To learn more, contact attorney Steinberger directly by calling 888-981-0039 or by submitting a contact form on this page. Disclaimer: This video is for informational purposes only. In some states, this video may be deemed Attorney Advertising. The choice of lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely on advertisements.


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