Should I Get A Divorce?
Written by AskTheLawyers.com™ on behalf of Chaim Steinberger with Chaim Steinberger, P.C..
Deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a difficult decision—one that can bring significant emotional, physical, and financial upheaval. Below, you will find some common warning signs of divorce, and ways through which potential problems may be resolved.
Warning Sign #1: You and your partner lack communication in your relationship.
This is often a sign of trouble in a marriage, and a lack of communication—or healthy communication—is a factor in the dissolution of many relationships that end in divorce. For your marriage to be successful, you and your partner must figure out what kinds of communication work for each of you, and how to effectively resolve problems. Small problems that go unaddressed can lead to larger marital rifts, and it is much easier to communicate about smaller issues and work to resolve them than it is to let them lead to negative feelings and, ultimately, divorce.
Warning Sign #2: You and your partner have different ideas about how money should be spent or saved.
Another leading factor in divorce is the difference in how each half of a married couple wants to spend income. Some partners may prefer to save large amounts of money for future plans and live frugally, while others may want to spend money in the short-term on present desires. If you and your spouse have different ways of handling money, you need to discuss them before either partner begins to feel resentment about the other’s habits.
If there is a discrepancy in income between the two of you, it should also be addressed. Any legal documents, like prenups or postnups, should be discussed. Discussing your desires and goals involving money may help you begin to resolve issues of incompatibility. If you decline to address these topics, you could be setting yourself and your partner up for emotional and financial trouble down the line.
Potential Resolution #1: Seek counseling to help gain perspective on controversial issues.
Whether you are fighting over communication, money, or anything else, it is always wise to seek help from a professional third party. Marital counselors create an environment where both partners can discuss problems, and they often suggest ways in which partners can compromise and achieve their individual and common goals. Find a marriage counselor who offers advice on your specific needs.
Potential Resolution #2: If divorce is inevitable, strive to do it amicably.
If you and your partner find that you are heading toward divorce—despite genuine efforts to solve problems and increase communication—do your best to ensure that the proceedings are fair for both parties and that other family members are given reasonable and appropriate explanations. Children, especially, may need to have conversations with both partners and/or a counselor in order to mitigate negative feelings about the end of the marriage. Throughout the process, remind yourself to treat your partner with respect and allow assets and other shared interests be divided accordingly. By doing so, you can keep the relationship healthy and honest.